The Truth Is … no.2

The truth stole my banana and stuck a flag in it. Stars, stripes and confederacy — kiss me America, I’m lonely and you have lost all of your hunters. The truth has a walk on part. Blink and you’ll miss it. The truth is a crazy diamond. The truth is spinning records and it turns the music up. The truth is dancing. The truth is not stopping at a red light or an amber or a green. The truth holds a door open. The truth is everyone on Lexington says in unison at 3pm — we hate that motherfucker. They say it every day. What truth is there in hate? The truth is motherfucker sounds so much better in a Brooklyn accent. The truth is sex. The truth is crying in a cafe earlier in the day. The truth is in your vocal tone. The truth is his voice in my ear. The truth is his voice was never truthful. The truth is many people believe their own lies. The truth is the truth. Don’t believe the hype. The truth lowers the tone. One or two tones lower and all I think about is sex. The truth is exotic. The truth bears liberty. The truth is beside itself. The truth is we truly do hate that motherfucker. We begin to say it at 4pm each day too.  The truth is he’s playing golf but instead of balls he lines up nukes. This doesn’t stop me dancing. It doesn’t stop you. I am not afraid to live. You are not intimidated by oranges. I am Poland. I am sparkling. The truth is going home. The truth is older than you’ll ever be. I was signing my name at the cathedral of debatability last night. I was a spy. I was followed by a guy with a gun. He was noir. I was not a girl. I was all colour and he wasn’t ugly. I had a gun and it shot words. The words hung in the air until the man ate them. I shot words and the gun had a habit. The man had a horse and ill intentions. He was all malevolence and I decided not to sign. The truth is my name is not in a huge old leather book. It would have been the end of me. I turned to go and he attached himself to my body. He was a growth on my body. The truth is on the left. The truth went before me. The truth couldn’t help nor could anyone else. The truth is I am in Harlem. The truth is an artist who does great owls and who tells me for the first time in decades as a grown man, as a black man, as an intellectual, an artist, a southern gent, a businessman, as someone who has loved and lost and still gives to the world — he is afraid. The truth is braver than either of us. The truth has different things to fear. The truth is I am afraid and the artist is afraid and I meet other people and we talk about fear. We talk about fear and we talk about how we ignore it and go and meet our friends and defy psychic terrors by loving the ones we are set for. The truth is fear won’t be ignored. It will hunt you down. The truth is almost extinct. The truth is I exist but I’m absolutely naked. The truth is air conditioning. The truth is haunting. The truth is I wouldn’t know a truck juck if it jaunted over and jived with me. The truth is the trucks here look mean. They look like they want to kill everybody. I’m told some people sook up their trucks so they emit even more black smoke, so they look even gnarlier, cos those people don’t believe in climate change and they want to toxify the air in the hope it might give cancer to at least one or two liberals. The truth is climate change was a conspiracy thought up the Chinese. The truth is the man who believes that runs a huge fuck-off country. The truth is the vice president believes humans were created six-thousands years ago. The truth is loving your country more than you do your family. The truth is a cult. The truth is if you are brainwashed since birth you can no longer tell the truth anymore than a kamikaze dragon racing down the freeway — cock in one hand, jerking off into the night. The truth is fucking preposterous. The truth is unfit for drinking. The truth is on a pedestal. It’s a medical supply room. The truth gives free advice. Do you have what it takes to become a citizen? Today almost anyone can become a citizen but so few a human being. The truth is the first Naturalisation Law. The truth is the United States of Anxiety. Originally the truth only granted citizenship to free white persons. What the fuck is naturalisation? Since when did law respect nature? What is with those words? Only a white person can be natural? Law is based on isation? The truth is the vice president will not eat lunch with any woman who is not his wife. The truth is they want to teach creationism in school as if it were a real thing. Don’t laugh Ireland, you tried to convict someone for blasphemy and the laws you have for women and god make me ashamed to have so much fucking Irish blood. The truth is annexed territories. The truth is ambivalent. The truth is — who belongs here? The truth belongs here. The truth is here but we’re ignoring it for cake. The truth is 1868. The truth is three years after the Civil War. The truth is not in Congress.  The truth is that word still fucking bugs me. Naturalised. What the fuck do you mean by it America? What do you mean by diversity? I hear kids saying it in white neighbourhoods. Oh, if we go there, we’ll see more diversity. What is with this word diversity? It sounds like a pop band. What is naturalisation? The truth is a man that tells me he has no white friends except from where he works and he grew up in the ghetto and he is writing a sci-fi book about two sisters and he often is unseen beyond the colour of his skin. The truth is a vigilante. The truth is violent. The truth is under these hot streets. It’s rising up from the subway. It’s rattling the L-train. The truth is racism never went away. The truth is fear of people. The truth is people fear other people. The truth is they make you fear other people because it is profitable and practical to keep people afraid. The truth is a woman could not appear as a ‘person’ before a court of law not all that long ago. She was the responsibility of the male. Like a dog. Or a bicycle. Or a razor blade. She was not allowed to be naturalised. We all know women are not natural.  The truth is queer. The truth is constitutional psychopathic inferiority. The truth is that was a legal prognosis for anybody gay. The truth is love is not a disease. The truth is immigration and naturalisation services required examining physicians to issue a certificate classifying gay aliens as mentally defective. The truth is those are not my words. They are official. They were legislatively dangerous. The truth is aliens are queer too and none of them want to speak to you. The truth is alien. The truth will not stage an intervention. Sure, their world is pretty (they’d say) but they place no value on its soul. The truth has a brilliance. The truth is people whose hearts shine through their clothes, whose intellect astounds me, who open their arms and say — I will. The truth is in 1979 physicians refused to write certificates declaring gays as psychopaths. The truth is in 1990 (I will repeat) in 1990 with the passage of the Immigration Act of (I will repeat) 1990 Congress removed homosexuality as a health-based exclusion for US citizenship. What is a gay alien? What is alien in your queer? If I’m a psychopath then you’re a sugar bowl. If you’re a sugar bowl don’t expect me to stir you. If sugar bowls have birds around them nobody is tweeting. If nobody is tweeting then the word is dead. If the word is dead then we’ll all draw language. We’ll show each other pictures of hearts and beds. The truth is fucking history. The truth is beloved. The truth is I miss him. The truth is he lied to me. The truth wants me. I want the sea. The truth is I’m not doing yoga. The truth is I resist it. The truth is my body. The truth is my brain. The truth is the amygdala. The truth is the holy grail. The truth has dimensions. Dimensions of dimensions. The truth is fuzzy fuzzy wasnae fuzzy but he was a fucking bear. The truth is I swear too much. The truth is I don’t swear enough. The truth is vitriol. The truth is scared. The truth is we come back to this. The truth is we’re controlled by this. The truth is it is effective to rule 7.5 billion people predominantly through division, exclusion and fear. The truth is 1d. The truth has plumbing issues. The truth is lighten up, brought to you, in a hysterical voice, by the Queen. The truth needs a coffee. The truth won’t eat your bagel. The truth is I loved him and he never let me in. The truth is I keep one arm out at all times but extra especially during the night. The truth is he won’t call me. The truth is you better check under your bed. The truth is I’m bemused. The truth is this is a planet. It does not have an adequate explanation. Chill the fuck out about it. It’s just a few seconds of existence on this plane. The truth is I’m a fat girl who likes to hear sirens. The truth is I judge your judgement. The truth is barefoot. The truth is paddling. The truth is clear water. The truth is fireflies. The truth is war rages. The truth is love. Love is truth. We all want truth in love but when is it really true? It’s true when it’s a true thing and when it’s not it’s not. The truth is I scroll through my phone for someone who has never been there. The truth is missing. Someone bring it a blanket. The truth is not to be found so don’t look for it in Maine. 

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